It's Alive!!

Yeah, so remember the vacuum I mentioned in a previous post that I got for my birthday? Well, I used it for the first time today and got the shock of my life. I vacuumed my bedroom – just one SMALL room – and emptied the canister to find this:


A dust ball the size of a large rodent. Uugghhhh!! Eeewwwwwww!! Vomit!!

After I picked myself up off the floor, I got to thinking. All this, from vacuuming just one room!! Now, I am not the cleanest person in the world, but I am also by no means a slob. It absolutely floors me to think that I have been living and sleeping in the same room with such a large amount of filth, and I now fear for what else might be hiding out down there. Can you sterilize carpet?

I can feel things crawling on me. Really, I can.

On the upside, my new vacuum is one awesome sucking machine!!

I Don't Do Diet

I love lemon cake. Love it. Especially the one that they sell at Starbucks. There is just something about the mixture of tangy and sweet and moist that sends my taste buds a-whirlin’. 


Today at work, one of the pharmaceutical reps brought a whole spread of breakfast food for the staff/surgeons in an effort to bribe them to use their product (a fairly common occurrence when you work in a hospital). There were bagels and cream cheese, donuts, fruit and yogurt parfaits, pastries……..and lemon cake!!

Once spotted, I made a beeline to the tasty goodness, and promptly (and quite piggishly) piled three slices onto my plate. Feeling exhilarated, I sat down to consume the spoils of my gluttony. I took a bite, began to chew, and then….wha….what…what is this? What in hell’s bells did I just put into my mouth? It looked like lemon cake. It smelled like lemon cake. It even had the proper consistency. And yet, this was NO lemon cake. No sir. What I had just put into my mouth was so nasty, I was sure that that was what evil had to taste like.

I spat out the revolting intruder, and walked over to examine the container from whence it came. It was lemon cake alright – sugar-free lemon cake, made with Splenda.

Are you kidding me?

Who? Who would do that? Who would dare to take perfectly good lemon cake, something so pure and delectable, and corrupt it with, of all things, Splenda? What a waste!! Am I the only one here who sees something wrong with this picture?

 
Needless to say, I did not finish the rest of my wanna-be lemon cake. In fact, I had to eat a blueberry muffin just to get the bitter taste out of my mouth. It still makes me gag just thinking about it.

There are very few (in fact, almost zero) low-fat/low-calorie/sugar-free foods in life that I have found actually taste good enough to make them worth sacrificing the extra calories. And lemon cake is definitely not one of them. Perish the thought.

All I have to say is, if I ever happen to encounter the inventor of Splenda in a dark alleyway, he had better be watching his back.

The Big 3-0

It’s official. I. Am. Old.

That’s right – on December 22, 2008, I turned 30. Thirty. Thurrrr-teeee. Wow, still seems weird. I mean, I entered an entirely different decade, people. I thought that it would be a difficult day – you know, that I would feel all depressed and melodramatic, and suddenly start spouting “well, when I was a kid…” stories. However, 30 doesn’t really feel any different. In fact, it’s pretty great so far!! 


After all, they say that you are only as old as you act. And, if that’s the case, then I should be hitting puberty any day now.

Anyway, because my birthday is so close to Christmas, I was fortunate enough to be at home in San Diego with my family for the blessed occasion. We played and shopped all day, went out for a yummy celebratory dinner (sans the annoying singers, thank you very much!), and then opened presents. And, I got some pretty spectacular ones!

My awesome parents gave me something that I desperately needed – a vacuum cleaner. My old vacuum was literally on its last leg. I inherited it from my old roommate who just got married, who inherited it from her old roommate who got married 5 years ago…..needless to say, it is an antique, and was starting to emit a very foul burning odor whenever it was used. Anyway, my parents very generously bought me a Hoover Bagless Windtunnel Vacuum.

Did you catch the “bagless” part of the description – as in, I never have to buy or change vacuum bags EVER with this sly piece of machinery. And, that’s just one of its many useful amenities. Thanks Mum and Dad!!

 

My beautiful sister, Blythe, gave me a truly wonderful gift. A gift that, I believe, no self-respecting woman should be without. What is this amazing gift of which I speak? That’s right, you guessed it – she got me “Sex and the City – The Complete Series.”

That’s right, all 6 seasons in one bright pink package (one of my favorite parts about this gift, by the way).

I know that there are plenty of you out there who would disagree with me, but I think that “Sex and the City” is one of the best television shows ever written. I love the characters, the dialogue, the cheeky humor. As a sassy single gal, I can soooo relate to many of the situations they address on the show (don’t worry, I don’t mean any of the ones involving sex, for heavens sake!) It is my personal opinion that any given situation in a woman’s life can relate back to a “Sex and the City” episode or moment (well, or a “Friends” episode, too) – so I find myself quoting the show all the time. “It looked like a sharpei!”

 

I have already watched all of the DVDs once, and will undoubtedly make it through them all again before too long. Thanks Blythe!!

Aren't I a lucky girl?

Go Ahead, Be Jealous

Today’s date is January 17th, 2009. We are still in the season of Winter. And yet, it is 80 degrees outside…..and has been all week long!! While most of the rest of the country is freezing their buns off in sub-zero temperatures, So Cal is having a virtual heat wave. I mean, people are actually sunbathing at the beach!!


I know some people hate this strange weather pattern – that they really want a defined change of seasons, with a noticeable temperature change as well. However, I say forget that!! I absolutely love this weather, and would take it 365 days a year if I could get it!!

And that is EXACTLY why I will never leave southern California.

(Oh no, now I’ve gone and jinxed myself. You watch, now I’ll end up marrying somebody who gets some amazing job offer in Alaska or Wisconsin or Antarctica or something. Crap.)

About Friggin' Time!

A friend of mine posted this video on her blog the other day, and it totally cracked me up. I mean, I sooooooooo sympathize with the poor guy, especially as I grow closer to “graduating” from my Singles Ward. If you don’t know what “graduating” from a Singles Ward is, I congratulate you, because this means that you managed to find your eternal companion and escape to happy marriage-dom before being deemed too old to interact with other single people, and then banished to a family ward – forgotten forever, left to wade in an endless sea of Cheerios and to endure looks of pity from happy married couples everywhere. In other words, turning 31. But I digress…..

Anyway, I thought that this video was totally clever, and so of course, being a girl of the single and Mormon persuasion, I had to share it.

By the way, if you are not Mormon, or have never been a member of a Singles Ward before, you probably won’t get it.

All I have to say is, "Amen!"

Travesty

It is a sad, sad day in the television world. I recently found out that "Pushing Daisies," which is probably just about my favorite TV show ever, has been cancelled. Woe is me!!!

Seriously, it absolutely amazes me that ridiculous, plotless, trashy shows like "Wife Swap" and "Deal or No Deal" remain on the air, while intelligent, witty, and innovative shows like "Pushing Daisies" get sent to cable TV heaven. I guess it is just an indicator of the current mental capacity of our society. And the world wonders why America doesn’t seem any smarter than a fifth grader. Boo!

For those of you that have never watched this show before, I would highly recommend it (well, at least watching the re-runs). The writing is smart and funny (I laugh out loud a lot!), the characters are likeable and well-developed, and the storyline is totally unique. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before – imaginative, kind of like a cross between a fairy tale and a Tim Burton movie. And it even has a little romance thrown in there, too. Plus, I am totally in love with Lee Pace, the actor who plays one of the main characters, Ned (who is unabashedly adorable) - so that doesn't hurt either!!

Mmmmmmmm. Yummy!

 

I am truly disappointed in ABC, and may even consider an action to boycott them in the future. Well, honestly, I don't think that will actually ever happen. Why must I be so addicted to TV? Damn the inventors of TiVo!! Anyway, I at least plan on writing a strongly worded letter of complaint to ABC, and if you care about "Pushing Daisies" in any way, you should too!! Let's save the Pie Hole, people!!

P.S. Below is a cute scene from a recent episode where Kristin Chenoweth (the original Glinda from Broadway’s Wicked, thank you very much!) breaks into song, belting out the Bangles’ “Eternal Flame.” Totally silly and random, but I love it!!

Insane in the Mem-Brain......

So, you know that mood you get in when it’s, like, 3:00 in the morning, and you are totally loopy? You know – all of your inhibitions are down, and everything is REEEALLLLLY funny? Well, that happened the other day at work (except that it was only 9:00 in the morning)…..and, well…..unfortunately the results of that mood were captured on film.

What can I say? It was Friday, we were tired and burned out, there were props available, and a camera was close by. You would have done the same, and you know it!

Makes you want to run out and have surgery tomorrow, now, doesn’t it? On the upside, I really do LOVE my job!