I said, WHIP IT!!

Oh. My. Gosh.

Wednesday night I experienced what has to have been one of the silliest, most hilarious things I have seen since moving to LA. I played charity Bingo...…….with some drag queens in West Hollywood. No, seriously.

One of the guys in my ward has been trying to raise money for an inner city LA school, and one of the ways he chose to do that was through this event. A local drag queen bar/restaurant called Hamburger Mary's has Bingo every Wednesday night. If anybody has a worthy cause that they are trying to raise money for, Hamburger Mary’s will host and run an event for that purpose. All you have to do is organize the guests and provide the prizes. They give 100% of the proceeds to the cause – which I think is pretty great.

Our host for the night was "Miss" Bridget of Madison County. And she was feisty. First thing, she explained the rules for the evening. But, she was quick to note that the biggest, most important rule was "NO FAKE BINGOS!!!" And if you did call out "Bingo" incorrectly, there would be consequences. Harsh consequences. She then proceeded to pick up a black leather strap, and violently SLAP it against the wall.

Oh my. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

As the leather cracked against the wall, the expression on my friend Sterling's face was that of pure shock. "Um, can you go over the rules one more time please," he asked. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.

There was only one twit the whole night who was stupid enough to call out a fake bingo. And she was justly punished. The strap was also used to give out birthday spankings to a few different people, including my friend, Brian, who had organized the event. And when Bridget uses that strap, man – she means business!

Well, I had the time of my life. I cant repeat half of what was said during the evening, as pretty much every sentence was laced with some sort of sexual innuendo. And though I didn't win anything, my roomie, Rachel, did manage to score herself a lovely rape whistle when she tied with another dude for a bingo win, and then lost in the draw for a final winner.

All I can say is, if you have trouble getting ahold of me on Wednesday nights, it’s probably because I’m hanging with Bridget.

Better Go Find Your Ice Skates……

…..because I’m pretty sure that hell has just frozen over.

Why, you ask?

Because I have just done something that I SWORE I would never do. Something that friends have been trying to convince me to do for years, but to which I have been vehemently opposed.

I layered my hair.

Okay, okay. I know that to most of you, this may not seem like a very big deal. But to me – a creature of habit and not of change – it is! For years, I have worn my hair long and straight. It was easy to maintain and required little to no thought on my part. It was by no means boring, but it wasn’t necessarily exciting either.

Well, lately I have been on this whole “seize the day” kick, and last Saturday that seizing manifested itself in a crazy (sort of) new haircut.

 

For those of you who don’t see me every day or who don’t know me super well, you may not even notice a difference. And maybe there isn’t a huge one. But hey, baby steps people!

Though I am still adjusting to the various lengths of hair I now have, I am LOVING the new do! And I can’t wait to experiment with it!

Maybe I should listen to my friends more often……

Take Me Out to the Movies…..

So, the two YSA wards out here are full of industry-types. Mostly they are just wanna-be actors (unless you consider being in both an Old Navy AND and an Ice Breakers commercial simultaneously as hitting the big time). But there are a few ward members who have actually been involved in some pretty legit Hollywood movies/projects.

Due to this fact, every July the wards combine to hold a huge film festival. And it is probably the biggest, most publicized, and widely-attended church activity of the year. Seriously. It has become so well known that YSA wards in other states have tried to mimic it – but ours is still the original....and the best. :P

The occasion is strictly formal dress (or costume, as there is always a theme to the festival), and even has a red carpet and paparazzi. Our venue? Well, the Stake Center cultural hall, of course (nothing says red carpet more than a basketball court)!

Members from the wards are invited to make and submit 5-minute short films. Then, at the festival (which is only one night), these films are screened and voted on by the ward members. Winners are chosen, awards are given out. It's a jolly good time.

Most of the films are quite amateur (for obvious reasons), but occasionally, you get one that is so creative that it raises the bar. A film that everybody leaves the festival talking about – and continues to talk about for the next few days.

Such was the case this year.

Meet "Jane Austen's Fight Club." Not only did this film win for "Best Picture" this year, but since it was posted on YouTube, it has gone completely viral – racking up over a MILLION views in just the first two weeks alone! It has been featured on websites like Jezebel, The Daily What, CBSnews.com, Time.com, and its director (my buddy, Emily Janice Card) has even been interviewed by by Entertainment Weekly online. Crazy, huh? See, Mormons do have a sense of humor!

Anyway, for your viewing pleasure......."Jane Austen's Fight Club."

 

 

And while we're on the subject of award-winning films, here's a silly little one that I somehow ended up participating in a few years back. I am NOT an actress, and the only reason I agreed to do it was because I was told that it would only be freeze-frames. But it ended up being  a lot of fun to do – and I’m glad I had the opportunity!

It also won for "Best Picture," and I randomly won for "Best Actress" (There must not have been a lot of female participants that year). Anyway, here's that film....."Time for Teens."

 

And here’s a picture of the cast after we won……crazy bunch of fools we are.

 

My roomie, Rachel, got runner up this year for her hilarious little spoof about cougars......and no, I'm not talking about the ones you find on campus at BYU......or am I?...... Meet, "To Avoid an Attack."

 

 

My BFF Sara was a dancer in this next one. I tell you, sometimes I think that Mormons must look nigh unto psychotic to the rest of the world. I give you, "Late Night Worker."

 

 

Another one of my all-time favorites is this next one, "Do Re Andy." Short. Sweet. Insane. But I love it.

 

 

Lastly, well......I'm not quite sure how to explain this last one. But I thought it was quite clever. Here is "Tom Cruise on Home Teaching." Nuff said.

 

 

Hooray for Hollywood……!!

Finally with the Times…..

So, the last time I bought a new cell phone was in 2005.

What? I liked my little blue flip-phone. It may have been utterly out-dated, but it was cute, user-friendly, and most of all, I was used to it. Plus, with the recent innovation of smart phones, my choices if I were to consider purchasing a new phone were limitless. Buying one would require much thought and research –and who wants to do all that? (Yes, my laziness has hit astounding new levels).

Well, a few months ago, spurred on by the constant mocking of my dinosaur device by my sister, I finally caved. And bought myself an iPhone.

Oh. My. Gosh.

I don't know how I ever lived without this phone! Seriously, it has become like a third arm or something, and I feel like I would be absolutely crippled without it! I know that sounds a tad overdramatic, but it is amazing just how may things I use this phone for. And how often.

The only thing is, I have gotten used to having all of its little innovations and tools, and have started to expect them in other aspects of my life. For example, it now totally frustrates me that the computer charting system I use at work does not automatically capitalize my "I" and correct my spelling. I mean, really?! (Again with the laziness....)

Whatever. I'm in love with my new toy. And with the awesome cover I bought to go with it!

It’s the little things people.

Don’t Judge Me…..

I have a friend, Ashley, who is getting married in a couple of weeks. I am one of her bridesmaids, and one of the responsibilities I have as a part of this role is to attend all wedding-related activities. Including the Bachelorette Party.

Now, as a Momo, this is not an activity that I usually have the opportunity to partake of.....Momos being pretty conservative and all. And to tell you the truth, I never really cared. It always seemed to me that bachelorette parties were all about strippers and drinking and clubbing; and that kind of stuff doesn't really appeal to me. Plus, I have attended enough cheesy bridal showers over the years to satisfy any need I might have for nuptual-related activities.

Anyway, Ashley decided that she wanted to have a bachelorette weekend in Vegas. Great. Debauchery central.

Admittedly, I went into this weekend with a pretty cynical attitude. Especially when I found out that the group was planning on going to the show "The Thunder from Down Under" on Saturday night. Great. Half-naked men. Like I don't get enough of that at work.

But, I love Ashley. And she was the bride. And it was what she wanted to do. Soooooo, I went to the show.

Okay, so here's the part where you don't judge me.....

I had an absolute blast at "The Thunder from Down Under." No, really. I had such a good time! And, NO, it was not because I was looking at more six packs than you would see at a Super Bowl party. No. It was because the show is actually pretty hilarious, and not at all raunchy like I thought it was going to be. There was comedy, music, dancing, audience participation. And yes, the fact that the men were unbelievably gorgeous didn't hurt either (at one point, one of the guys ripped off his shirt to reveal what I can only describe as, well, a ten-pack, and I believe that the words "Hot. Damn." may have actually escaped my lips).

I guess I should have known better – I mean, these boys are from my Motherland.

I had a great time. And I would totally do it again. Call me a tart if you want to. You're probably right.

Sweet Child O’ Mine

A few weeks ago, I got a frantic phone call from Blythe. She was all worked up, barely able to form a coherent sentence. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed. "You'll never guess what?!" I didn't know whether I should be worried or excited. She continued, "Slash is performing a last-minute concert at The Roxy THIS weekend!! We HAVE to go!!!"

Okayeeeee. This was apparently a good frantic.

Now, Blythe is quite the music connoisseur. But her favorite genre would have to be rock – you know, Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam, Chris Cornell, etc. And Slash – well, he has to be one of the most talented people ever to pick up a guitar.

And while I am nowhere near as into him as my beloved sister, I was a child of the 80s, and I do love Guns N' Roses. So, we bought tickets to the show (which were only 30 bucks, by the way).

Flash-forward to Saturday night, the night of the concert. My roommate, Rachel, as well as our friends, Todd and Danielle, had also bought tickets to see Slash. It was a midnight concert (eek), so we decided to get to the The Roxy around 11. Aaaand about 75 other people decided to get there before us.

Sheesh! For a last-minute show, there sure were a lot of people who were in the know. That's okay, though, because there were still PLENTY of people that showed up after us. And, there were a ton of people who were walking up and down the line looking for tickets to buy. Apparently, this concert sold out rather quickly – like, as in they never went on sale to the general public. Only people (like Blythe) who were notified of the pre-sale were able to buy tickets. This girl who was standing in line next to us said that tickets to the show had been selling for $150 on Craigslist that morning. Crazy!

Here we are, standing around like a bunch of Sunset Boulevard street-walkers, waiting to get in…..

Anyway, they FINALLY let us in around 11:50. Since The Roxy is an extremely small venue (it probably only holds about 200 people – standing room only), we actually ended up in a pretty decent location - center stage, about 4 rows of people back. We were, however, crammed into that theater like literal sardines; personal space was not an option. It's a good thing I remembered to put on deodorant that night.....

Finally, at around 12:45 (those rock stars always have to be fashionably late), the concert started.

One word. A-MAZ-ING!!

I tell you true, I have never seen anybody move their fingers the way Slash did that night. They moved so quickly that I could barely keep up with them. Such talent.

Plus, I absolutely love that feeling when you are so close to the stage that you can literally feel the base thumping in your chest.

All in all, it was a crazy, fun night. Though we didn't get home until 3:45 in the morning, and I'm pretty sure that I breathed in enough second-hand marijuana smoke to be considered intoxicated, it was a truly unforgettable experience.

Taste the Rainbow

A few weeks ago, Blythe, Sara and I ventured up to the Wasatch front (also known as Utah) for some crazy and interesting fun. Crazy and interesting? In Utah? Not possible, you may say.

And ordinarily I would agree with you.

However, on this occasion there was much fun to be had. Because.......we were in Utah to attend the Festival of Colors!

For those of you who have never heard of this event before, the Festival of Colors is a celebratory festival held each spring at Hare Krishna temples around the world. Surprisingly enough, one of the largest Hare Krishna temples is in Spanish Fork, Utah (go figure).

Now, I'm sure that there is some deeper meaning behind this celebration, especially for those who are actually members of that faith. However, 99.9% of the people who show up to this festival show up for one reason: to throw brightly-colored cornstarch at one another with reckless abandon. Yup. That's it. We Mormons really should get out more.....

However, childish as it may seem – it was an absolute blast!

When we first showed up, we started heading towards the temple lawn (where the actual festival takes place). No sooner had we even set foot on the temple grounds when I was pelted with a fistful of orange powder.

What was this? Nobody had blown the start whistle!! I did not give my permission to be suchly violated!! I almost used my pepper spray on the deviant, as I felt that this attack had been both brazen and aggressive.

And then Blythe reminded me that, well, that was kind of the whole idea behind the festival. Oh yeah.

And it just got worse from there on out. Picture a mud fight, except more colorful. And corn-starchy.

By the end of the day, every square inch of my body was rainbow-colored (no really, I was finding powder in crevices for days). My brand new WHITE bra was permanently stained lavender. And my hair-dresser asked me at my appointment two weeks later if I had been spending a lot of time in the swimming pool, because my hair had a "green tinge" to it. Great.

But I had an awesome time, and would totally do it again.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from the day:

 

Before the mayhem…..

And so it began….

This next one has to be one of my favorite pictures EVER. I can’t not laugh at it!! Apparently, Blythe reeeeaaaallly wanted to be in the picture. Love that girl. :o)

Like I said, cornstarch EVERYWHERE!

Look how white our teeth look!

After the festival, we went out to dinner at this little Italian restaurant in Provo – without showering first. What can I say, we were starving! We got many-a-look, let me tell you. They ranged from smirks of amusement to glares from people who probably thought that we had all just escaped the loony bin.

Whatever. They were all just jealous of our fashion sense.